The more of it that comes out the more emotionally unstable he seems. I can see why people keep it a secret and don't deal with it. It would be so much easier to just keep living the lie he was conditioned to live, but to do that he wouldn't be able to be emotionally available to his family and children. It is a lot of pain and confusion to deal with. He keeps telling me that the secrets are in layers and the layers are booby trapped. The more layers that he bravely peels away, the more there is to deal with. He is now in the ICU after another attempt to self destruct, this one closer than any other.
He had someone very close to him that self destructed for the same reason. Before she died, they talked with one another and talked of the extensive abuse they had endured from the same people. They knew that they could never tell anyone or expose the secret. He told me just the other day, that she self terminated because she was trying to get it out and deal with it.
Dr. Fish is a very spiritually gifted psychologist who first made us aware of the magnitude of this problem. He told us many things that has gradually made more and more sense through the years. He talked about tramatic events, and a generational curse, ritualistic abuse, and the booby trapped mind. He also talked about son forgiving father and that son forgiving his father and on and on and on and on to heal the curse. To forgive he first has to break through all the layers. Everytime more memories surface he falters and stumbles and its just another blow to his tender heart of the lies and deceit of his childhood from people he was supposed to be able to trust. But then he just keeps getting back up and keeps fighting and cries out, "Bring it on! I will fight because that is what You want me to do. This is what I came here to do. This is what I have been called to do and so I will do it. I will break this generational curse."
Dr. Fish explains very well what is going on with Mandon. In his book Healing the Inner Self From Darkness Into Light he writes: "The rituals are designed to be so painful, physicaly, emotionaly, and spiritually, that it fragments the spirit. This results in multiple personalities. With this kind of abuse the pain is so great that there are often many personalities. This aspect of Satanism is what makes it so secret. It is so secret that many, if not most, of those who have been abused, do not even know that they have been involved. The abuse is purposely made to be so painful that the spirit fragments many times."
"The core personality departs during the abuse and therefore has no knowledge of what has happeded. The part of your spirit that is left behind and which endures the abuse is the part that fragments into multiple negative personalities. These negative personalities have a memory, but none of them is the 'real self'. The physical mind has a memory of everything that has happened, but that memory can be suppressed to the point that there is no knowledge of what happened. This memory may stay supporessed all of one's life, or it may come to the surface when something triggers it. Sometimes a little child becomes a victim of the...rituals and the memories of the events are so completely buried that the victim does not remember it until later in life, then the victim starts fo have little flash backs. The victim becomes very disturbed when this happens, and it is sometimes very difficult for the victim to believe that the memories are real."
Dr. Fish also talks about multi-layered programming. "Finding all layers of programming and releasing it can therefore become a very tedious process. In addition to the mulitlayered programming there are multi-layered implants."
One of these multi-layered implants is a fail-safe mechanism. "Most victims are programed with a fail-safe mechanism which causes one to delf-destruct if one starts to remember, start to reveal the secret, or try to heal. These fail-safe mechanisms come in many forms. Some people are progrogramed to have various forms of terminal illness. Some are programed to commit suicide."
Fortunately Mandon has a powerful army fighting along with him. The burden of this fight is not taken away, but his shoulders to carry it are broader and his heart is larger. He is doing exactly what he was sent here to do. Although this appears to be a defeat it is actually a huge success. He is doing it, however painful.
